From my comrades in arms (and hysterics)

I found this on the Facebook group "You know you've been in Uganda a long time when." Anyone who has been here will roll on the floor laughing, because it is all so true:

• Your phone rings and it is a wrong number and you can keep the Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello's going back and forth like a tennis match until eventually the caller realises you are the wrong number and abruptly hangs up, after spending at least 2 minutes worth of airtime. (Natalie McComb)


• You get arrested and start bargaining over the bribe whilst you drive yourself to jail. (Jason McKelvie)


• When malaria number 10 is cause for a party. (Ailsa Woolard)


• When the power goes off in Chicago during a storm and it makes you homesick...(Sarah Larson)


• When you enter into a room of people and say 'Well done!' (Tamar Stockley)


• Your standard response to someone's greetings becomes "I AM FINE, HOW ARE YOU?!". (Maanan Madhvani)


• [Maisha's personal favorite:] You start saying "the what?" in every what? In every sentence. (Christopher Laughlin)


• Al's bar becomes a form of speed dating! (Tom Slater)


• You start referring to people as “this one” or “that one”. (Heather Lawrence)


• Clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes. (Ruth Townley)


• When the sight of a boda-boda with a passenger carrying yet another boda-boda [effectively a boda-boda breakdown service] does not cause you to raise an eyebrow. (Kaz Kasozi)


• When you stand in a queue and feel something is very wrong because it is orderly and the person behind you respects your personal space. (Nick Astles)


• When you're no longer surprised that a boda boda guy will try to convince you to become his customer by running you over. (Andrea Bohnstedt)


• When you have named the potholes. (Nanna Schneidermann)


• Your knees ache from squating over a long drop 4 times a day because you ran out of ciproflaxcin a month ago...(Jeremy Schmitz)


• Its 32 degrees C outside and you can still see one or two people fully dressed Sweater and all. (Kaliika Annat)


• When you know that a Swiss Loll at the Belgian bakery is a Swiss Roll. And that the man asking for Lose actually refers to Rose. (Sanne Andersen)


• When you don't get confused even though the person you're talking to keeps mixing up 'he' and 'she' in the same sentence. (Kirstine Corneliussen Magoola)


• When you point with your lips and say yes with your eyebrows. (Marcia Baugh)


• When are reluctant to let go of a new, CLEAN 1000 shilling note. (Daisy Asiimwe)


• You start thinking drinking beer with a straw is cool. (Joel Wandurwa)


• When your home does not have an address. (Alice Kimbowa)


• When you exhibit NRE bar behaviour in a Michelin star restaurant in a ball gown in London... (Naomi Swain)


• When people use please in everything they say when talking to you and it does not sound weird at all ... 'bye please' ... "thank you please" (Mimmy Khamis )


• When you still have to look left,right and left again before crossing a one way street. (Francis Musinguzi)


• When that article in Wikipedia on Ugandan English totally makes sense (Martin Ucanda / Anne Mugisha)


• When you consider going to Garden City a "trip to the Mall", made even more special if the escalator is switched on (Stuart Cook)


• The idea of using someone's establishment as a waiting or meeting room without giving them any business does not appall you at all (Lydia Namubiru)


• You yell "muzungu" at other muzungus you see walking down the road as you pass them in your car (Virginia Earwicker)

... Wow, I just went to the article in Wikipedia on Ugandan English, and it totally does make sense!