Sisterhood

Coming here has surprised me with the realization that many of my personality quirks are, in fact, cultural habits I didn't know I had. There are things that I do that are somewhat uncommon in the United States that turn out to be completely appropriate, here. For example, some of my closer friends have pointed out that I am overeffusive in my affection. If I like someone, I tell them how pretty / handsome they are, I give hugs, I bring presents, I feed them, etc. A lot of Americans have told me I'm a pushover -- that I'm too nice, and people take advantage of me because of it. I come here, and instantly the women at work start telling me how beautiful I am. They hold my hand when they want to take me somewhere. We go on field trips together. They've brought me gifts, I've bought them food; we support one another. It's strange and wonderful, having affection so readily reflected. I really do trust these women, too. They seem completely sincere -- just like the children here are serious about playing, and the men, when they flirt, are about as subtle as a big rig wearing a tutu. People here seem very honest. Even the liars are obviously lying, it's like artifice is largely unpracticed. The ladies have started including me in their activities, and I love it. I feel almost like I belong somewhere.

Case in point: Early last week, Zam rushes into the board room where I'm fighting with my computer. "Would it bother you if we come in heah?" she asks, and then waves in a crowd of giggling women. Apparently, Zam's friend has come by to sell shoes. And what shoes! They all have spike heels that are at least three inches high. Name brands I couldn't repeat, but I remember Emily told me she used to sell them at Nordstrom's. Shiny shoes, glittery shoes, jeweled shoes, severe shoes, party shoes, zebra-print shoes, you name it. The shoe saleswoman brought them in two large canvas handbags, and the ladies from work started pulling them out and setting them on the table for examination. There was so much laughter!

"What about this one? Do you have it biggah?"

"Next time you bring shoes with no heels!"

"These ah all pawty shoes! Do you have any foah office?"

"I want to get those. But these ah good too, eh? Once you staht picking them, you can't stop!"

"Take both and pay me back latah."

I wished Emily were there. She would have gone bananas. It was such a cute little scene. Eventually, a young intern named Katuele picked out one pair of shoes she liked. All that work, and only one woman found anything she liked in her size. (The saleswoman brings many different styles, but only one size of each pair -- if you want a different size, you have to ask for it and wait until she comes back again.) Supposedly, we get the shoe sale sequel next week. I want to watch the purchasing ritual, just because it's cute seeing these women hug one another and squeal over the shoes like teenagers.